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		<title>is any woman interested in being my travel companion on a trip across europe, the only requirements are that?</title>
		<link>http://www.aspenlender.com/singles-dating/is-any-woman-interested-in-being-my-travel-companion-on-a-trip-across-europe-the-only-requirements-are-that.html/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jul 2010 16:10:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[you have plenty of money to pay for the both of us as I have no job or any money Related Videos : How To Travel Cheaply Watch this video for a demonstration of &#8220;&#8221;. Tocomplete the task, you will need: Patience to sniff out the best deals Willingness to rough it The ability to [...]]]></description>
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<p>you have plenty of money to pay for the both of us as I have no job or any money</p>
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		<title>Losing Your Job Could Lead You to Success</title>
		<link>http://www.aspenlender.com/self-help/losing-your-job-could-lead-you-to-success.html/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:07:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart M. Friedman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Self Help]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Getting laid off is never easy! Instead of being viewed as an ending, this can be seen as the kick-start you needed to get the position that will make you truly happy. This can be the perfect opportunity for you to get off your keister and take the steps that will get you another job, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Getting laid off is never easy! Instead of being viewed as an ending, this can be seen as the kick-start you needed to get the position that will make you truly happy. This can be the perfect opportunity for you to get off your keister and take the steps that will get you another job, and more importantly, get you the job that you have always wanted.</p>
<p>Take time to examine not only your career plans but also your life goals to ensure that your next position offers more than just a paycheck. Think about what inspires you and the many skills and talents you have to offer.</p>
<p>Have you felt unfulfilled and trapped in previous positions? No one enjoys living in the vicious cycle of one unsatisfying job after another, but many don&#8217;t know how to break free from that cycle.</p>
<p>Now is the time to not only change your thinking, but also change your actions and change your life. Here are ten things you can do right away to go from being unemployed to being unstoppable:</p>
<p>1. Know What You Want<br />
Make choices based on what you want to achieve, not based on what you perceive others want you to achieve.</p>
<p>2. Work Productively<br />
Which activities are you the most productive in your most recent job?</p>
<p>3. Recognize Stress Levels<br />
Which activities are you the most stressed in your most recent job?</p>
<p>4. Identify Motivating Factors<br />
Which activities either personally or professionally energize and interest you?</p>
<p>5. Identify Unmotivating Factors<br />
Which activities either personally or professionally emotionally drain you?</p>
<p>6. Get Feedback<br />
Enlist the help of former colleagues, friends, and business contacts you can count on for honest feedback and support by asking them what you do really well and what they consider your natural strengths to be.</p>
<p>7. Find Trends<br />
Look at previous jobs and compare those activities with your answers to numbers 2 through 6 above. Where is there congruence? Where are there gaps?</p>
<p>8. Examine the Big Picture<br />
Look at the big picture of what you want out of life, and then narrow your focus to determine how you might apply this ?big picture? thinking to your pursuit of a job or business venture.</p>
<p>9. Create Alignment<br />
Pursue only those activities that align with who you are, your strengths, and your unique abilities.</p>
<p>10. Live Honestly<br />
Be honest with yourself. Stop being someone or something you are not and take ownership for your choices and the results, both good and bad.</p>
<p>By taking action using the steps above, you can transform yourself from feeling powerless to feeling empowered. Interestingly, people in the corporate world often attribute career success to an individual having some sort of power. Many misconstrue the concept of power as having control over others. This is not real power. Actual power is the ability to acknowledge the truth of who you are, to live that truth all the time and make good choices.</p>
<p>An important component of that truth is to accept our failures as part of the refining process that leads us to success. Our biggest fear is that we are afraid to let others know we have failed. We might all want to succeed without failing, but that&#8217;s simply impossible. All success comes from failure, and within that knowledge lies true power to drive you toward the success you envision.</p>
<p>Remember that breaking free from the cycle of career frustration is all about how you choose to be comfortable in your own skin and build an environment that provides the support you need and provokes you to contribute the best possible outcomes in all aspects of your life.<br />
<hr size="1"/>Copyright? 2009 by Free From Jails LLC. Stuart Friedman, is an international speaker, business consultant, coach, the author of Break Free from Job Jail, and host of the weekly radio program, Inside Job Jail. Read Stuart&#8217;s blog at <a rel="nofollow" rel="met friend bookmark" target="_blank" href="http://stuartmfriedman.com" title="http://stuartmfriedman.com">http://stuartmfriedman.com</a></p>
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		<title>Personal Integrity &#8211; A Career Rule</title>
		<link>http://www.aspenlender.com/self-help/personal-integrity-a-career-rule.html/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:31:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Artur Victoria</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Self Help]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[No matter how strictly written the mandates or how clearly the hierarchy, at some point commitments prescribed will come into conflict. High officials regularly feel cross-cutting tensions amid the requirements of protecting an institution, building support for a policy, and accounting to superiors. But even an inspector who vigilantly fills out a priority check-list must [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>No matter how strictly written the mandates or how clearly the hierarchy, at some point commitments prescribed will come into conflict. High officials regularly feel cross-cutting tensions amid the requirements of protecting an institution, building support for a policy, and accounting to superiors. But even an inspector who vigilantly fills out a priority check-list must make the choice between sending it to an overworked agency that may be slow in acting on it and trying to negotiate immediate compliance.</p>
<p>An official drawing up a budget proposal not only must decide what his or her division needs to fulfill its goals but also assess the nature of competing budgetary claims and the politics of the budgetary process. In any public office, goals and values will compete and collide. No one should assume that clear judgment will come out of any of these situations.</p>
<p>The ideal of personal integrity is a state in which people hold multiple domains of judgment in tension while keeping some coherence in their actions and lives. In this sense, personal integrity is a normative ideal for which people should and almost always do strive. The notion of moral responsibility depends upon the assumption that individuals can achieve integrity in their actions. Integrity provides a vital framer, work in which to discuss how individuals can simultaneously hold several commitments and achieve a morally defensible balance among them. In a complex world, integrity is the essential virtue for a moral life.</p>
<p>Personal integrity has several aspects. First, it demands consistency between inner beliefs and public actions. Integrity depends upon people integrity.</p>
<p>Personal commitments at the center of the web form the moral, intellectual, and emotional links that individuals use to connect other clusters of commitments embedded in roles. These central values have been acquired independently of, and usually prior to, office. The central values can be revised in light of experience, and such values are often reinforced by intersecting threads of family, religious, or professional commitments.</p>
<p>These values provide the capacity for critical reflection and judgment, which enables individuals to stand back from, hold together, and reshape roles.</p>
<p>The moral philosopher John Rawls has called this process reflective equilibrium, a state in which individuals seek a balance and coherence across actions, roles, and commitments. For a public official, these central values would include respect for self and others, commitment to truthfulness and public good, care, fairness, and honor. In maintaining integrity across their lives, individuals use reflection, will, and character.</p>
<p>To assess their various roles and commitments each role can be lived with different amounts of empathy, conscientiousness, optimism, or courage, respect. Individuals personalized roles and change the shape of each job they do by integrating their own personal values and character through the office.</p>
<p>The personal integrity as a moral ideal does not envision integrity as a hard, implacable nugget but as something dynamic. The experience of some roles can lead people to modify their central commitments in light of the demands of the roles. They might learn to expand their definition of respect or of professionalism.</p>
<p>Given the unity of people life, most values and commitments crisscross, intersect, and often reinforce one another. Individuals have difficulty when commitments or roles pull at the centering values. Within a role, actions that violate central values disturb all other aspects of people live and raise most of the serious issues of personal integrity in office. In these situations, the strains and pressures on the web of values can be so great as to destroy health or energy.</p>
<p>In response to such tensions, people sometimes disentangle themselves commitments that can no longer be sustained, and they resign from office. At other times, they may dissent in office or modify or resist actions to make them compatible with personal integrity. Sometimes the demands of a role so strain the central web of values that connections snap, leaving certain roles intact but loosely dangling from the rest of oneself.</p>
<p>People go to work but perform their jobs as if sleep walking with the job having no relation to the rest of their life. People can fall into self deception and not acknowledge their role as part of their identity. When individuals lives disintegrate like this, personal integrity and responsibility fragment.</p>
<p>People in office lose commitment burn out deny responsibility, performance and their personal lives suffer. In another variant of undermined integrity, the personal infiltrates the official, and people can confuse desires with office. On the other hand integrity can also be undermined when the requirements of the role so dominate self-consciousness that the central web of values unravels into longer center of balance the job takes over life In people lose not only perspective on their actions in office but also the capacity to integrate and change roles through reflection and will the central commitments and capacities anchor the moral and cognition the matrix by which people can live personality of a self and judge and ground their actions in the role commitments when central commitments or character capacities are undermined, individuals themselves change in a moral when basic attributes of self can no longer be or when they change, then the centering identity that held the roles and commitments of life to get her no longer holds. This violation or unraveling go from integrity calls into question all the commitments and promises made on the basis of the older self and can undermine people ability to commit and keep promises in the future.<br />
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		<title>Career &#8211; Behavior Models</title>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:20:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Artur Victoria</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Self Help]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Every elected, appointed, and career official must exercise judgment and discretion in carrying out the duties and responsibilities of office. Society depends upon their conscientious judgment and skill to provide the foundations of public order. A theory of public integrity can guide these public officials in exercising judgment and discretion. By public official it means [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Every elected, appointed, and career official must exercise judgment and discretion in carrying out the duties and responsibilities of office. Society depends upon their conscientious judgment and skill to provide the foundations of public order. A theory of public integrity can guide these public officials in exercising judgment and discretion.</p>
<p>By public official it means any individual who holds any position at any level of government or public authority. Obviously effective discretion, obligation, and responsibility associated with public office vary immensely. As a general rule the level of discretion increases directly with an office position in the hierarchy of authority, although street-level bureaucrats can also possess immense discretion. Discretion, along with the directness of accountability, also expands tremendously if an official is elected. Yet the moral structure of discretion remains essentially the same for all officials because they are all charged to obey and implement the law and respect legal process in exercising their power and judgment</p>
<p>Three models have traditionally been offered to resolve the conflicts between public discretion and liberal, democratic life.</p>
<p>The legal institutional model emphasizes the public official, subordination to legal and institutional authority, which has been refined by popular participation model argues that personal responsibility should the personal-responsibility be incorporated in judgments of public officials.</p>
<p>The effectiveness or implementation model it depends of the inescapable discretion and political dimension of all judgments made by public officials, even those in the middle ranks and at the street level; this model posits the need to use power to be flexible, and to act effectively in general each model accentuates one set of standards at the expense of others.</p>
<p>The question of public discretion and judgment can be thought of as an inquiry into what standards and considerations individuals in office should use to frame their judgments. Each model identifies one crucial domain of reason to good public judgment.</p>
<p>However that none of the models covers the entire range of moral resources that public officials need. Additionally, each domain by itself can generate abuses inherent in its logic and abuses can be avoided only by ensuring that each domain reinforces and checks the other two.</p>
<p>A theory that will frame the exercise of official discretion and judgment must meet several standards it should be compatible with the moral and constitutional foundations of liberal and democratic government and should do justice to the legal and political warrants of office. It should and public discretion in a way that plausibly connects and supports official authority without &#8220;checking&#8221; value personal integrity offers.</p>
<p>Last it should be true to the reducing to political demands of effectiveness and prudence without expediency. Because one of the above models alone meets all three standards, initiative and psychological state that anchors personal responsibility and judgment. As its root meaning suggests, integrity flows from the capacity to integrate different parts of oneself into a whole or completeness. Individuals achieve integrity when they make sense of their multiple obligations or roles in a manner that creates coherence or wholeness across the different aspects of their life.</p>
<p>People of integrity possess the capacity to hold the triangle of judgment and its three domains in a productive tension and to resist obstacles in living up to their obligations. They also have the capacity to change their commitments and actions after reflective judgment.<br />
<hr size="1"/><a rel="nofollow" rel="met friend bookmark" target="_blank" href="http://sites.google.com/site/arturvictoria/" title="http://sites.google.com/site/arturvictoria/">http://sites.google.com/site/arturvictoria/</a> <a rel="nofollow" rel="met friend bookmark" target="_blank" href="http://sites.google.com/site/cliparturvictoria/" title="http://sites.google.com/site/cliparturvictoria/">http://sites.google.com/site/cliparturvictoria/</a></p>
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		<title>Setting Goals</title>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 03 Oct 2009 12:35:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Azeem Kayum</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[I believe in setting realistic goals and working toward achieving them. Reaching those goals means hard work, perseverance, commitment, discipline and the desire to be the best you can possibly be. For someone with learning challenges it is a hundred times harder and it takes longer to achieve goals. I succeeded and if I can [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I believe in setting realistic goals and working toward achieving them. Reaching those goals means hard work, perseverance, commitment, discipline and the desire to be the best you can possibly be.</p>
<p>For someone with learning challenges it is a hundred times harder and it takes longer to achieve goals. I succeeded and if I can do so with my limited abilities, I truly believe any one can. From an IQ that was too low to be scored to a college graduate, my success was not easy. It meant I first had to believe in myself and set goals. I surrounded myself with positive people ? people who encouraged me, who made a big deal with every pass mark I made. That positive reinforcement carried me a long way.</p>
<p>My goals were simple and short term. Initially, my focus was to complete elementary school. I worked extremely hard and in most subjects I barely scraped a pass mark. But, that mark motivated me to work harder on the next test or assignment. I must admit that with the long hours I spent studying, I should have aced all my tests but with a damaged brain, it was not possible.</p>
<p>There were times when I became frustrated and wanted to give up but my parents never allowed me to feel sorry for myself. Instead they focused on my abilities and what I accomplished. I recall one math problem I had great difficulty with and became so tired of trying and blurted out, ?I can?t do this. It?s too hard. My mom was helping me using the white board to show me every step of the problem. She turned to me and said,? Look at this.? She wrote the words ?I CAN?T? in bold letters on the board. As she was writing she told me that those words should not exist in my vocabulary. She then picked up the eraser and knocked the apostrophe and ?t? off. She asked me to read what was left on the board. She made me repeat those words everyday for several months and I began believing that I was capable of doing anything I set my mind to do. With that support and direction, I immersed myself in my work and continued my uphill struggle. Each level of my education demanded more work and discipline. With a desire to do well, I worked hard and exceed my own expectations by graduating with honors from college.</p>
<p>Perseverance leads to success. It means taking small steps along the way. Those small steps took me one step closer to fulfilling my goals. It means working hard and staying committed to getting the job done. Working hard may not always be the answer. Sometimes it means working super hard. When frustration stepped in I went back to what I wanted to do with my life. I kept reminding myself that I have control of what I do and success is important to me. Goals can be reached. Dreams can be fulfilled. Have that drive to succeed. With the right attitude, you too, can.</p>
<p>(Originally published at GoArticles and reprinted with permission from the author, Azeem Kayum).<br />
<hr size="1"/>Azeem Kayum is author of Wrestling with the Goddess. Though affected from birth by a rare neurological disorder, he perseveres and speaks about his experiences and struggles to motivate students and corporations alike. He has demonstrated his true mettle by sharing these experiences in his compelling autobiography. Visit: <a rel="nofollow" rel="met friend bookmark" target="_blank" href="http://azeemkayum.com/">Azeem Kayum</a>.</p>
<h3  class="related_post_title">Related Post</h3><ul class="related_post"><li><a href="http://www.aspenlender.com/self-help/now-thats-not-normal.html/" title="Now That&#8217;s Not Normal">Now That&#8217;s Not Normal</a></li><li><a href="http://www.aspenlender.com/singles-dating/is-any-woman-interested-in-being-my-travel-companion-on-a-trip-across-europe-the-only-requirements-are-that.html/" title="is any woman interested in being my travel companion on a trip across europe, the only requirements are that?">is any woman interested in being my travel companion on a trip across europe, the only requirements are that?</a></li><li><a href="http://www.aspenlender.com/self-help/using-the-law-of-attraction-to-create-wealth.html/" title="Using the Law of Attraction to Create Wealth">Using the Law of Attraction to Create Wealth</a></li><li><a href="http://www.aspenlender.com/self-help/how-to-cope-with-disabilities.html/" title="How to Cope With Disabilities">How to Cope With Disabilities</a></li><li><a href="http://www.aspenlender.com/self-help/losing-your-job-could-lead-you-to-success.html/" title="Losing Your Job Could Lead You to Success">Losing Your Job Could Lead You to Success</a></li></ul>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>UK Unemployment: Creating Your Own Silver Lining</title>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Aug 2009 07:36:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chantel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Opinions]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[We are in the middle of a global recession: If you didn?t know this, chances are you have just returned from a two year sabbatical or haven?t been affected by it at all. Although there is reason to complain about rising prices and the fact that a raise at work is totally out of the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We are in the middle of a global recession: If you didn?t know this, chances are you have just returned from a two year sabbatical or haven?t been affected by it at all.</p>
<p>Although there is reason to complain about rising prices and the fact that a raise at work is totally out of the question, there are some for whom this blow feels harder.</p>
<p>It is those who find themselves currently unemployed for whom this nightmare really hits home.</p>
<p>Recent figures from the Office of National Statistics show that around 2.38m people in the UK are currently unemployed.</p>
<p>The Telegraph reports on these statistics with several statements from economists including John Philpott, chief economist at the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development.</p>
<p>&#8220;Any optimism that unemployment will peak below 3m next year before the jobs outlook starts to improve would appear to have evaporated,&#8221; he said.<br />
The newspaper also reports on a more positive statement from Allan Monks from JP Morgan who said: &#8220;Although employment will likely continue to fall for several months to come, the analysis we are working on at the moment suggests that these signs of flexibility in the labour market will help to limit the pace of overall job losses, and shorten the period of labour market adjustment relative to prior recessions.?</p>
<p>During all the unemployment chaos the Government has recently implemented different methods to lighten the issue.</p>
<p>&#8220;Starting from January, everyone under 25 who has been unemployed for a year or more will receive a guaranteed job, work experience or training place,? said Prime Minister, Gordon Brown.</p>
<p>&#8220;This is the first time any Government has guaranteed jobs and training will be available to young people and has made it mandatory for them to take up this work and have benefits cut if they do not,&#8221; he added.</p>
<p>The Government plan?s to build 110,000 energy efficient homes which will create more than 45,000 jobs and they are also making grants available to companies who are investing in training and skills.</p>
<p>In spite of the recent developments, there are people who have struggled with being jobless for months or even years and who had to cope without help from the Government as of yet.</p>
<p>People like Gillian (32) from London, who was working as a copy editor at a magazine when within in a week her life changed completely<br />
?When the publication closed down we were all made redundant. I felt so useless and I was angry at myself for not being good enough. It?s weird the nonsense that you make yourself believe in times like those but I realised that I had to get over it as soon as possible. Now, that I look back and reflect on the situation, I realise that it has made me a stronger person who now believes in herself,? she admits.</p>
<p>Gillian was lucky and after updating her CV and freelancing for a couple of months she found herself back in a job at a radio station with an even better position and salary.</p>
<p>Fresh out of College, Steward (25) from Croydon didn?t have luck on his side as he struggled nearly two years before he was given a chance.<br />
With only a degree in Marketing and no experience, job opportunities weren?t opening up for him.</p>
<p>?When I look back at the last two years I want to cringe.<br />
?I?ve been to countless interviews and have experienced so many ups and down?s that I have lost count of them too. It?s funny, when you leave College you seem to think that the world owes you something and you?ll just walk into a job. Apart from the embarrassment I felt during this time, I have learned so much and find myself more grounded these days,? he says.</p>
<p>Steward used his time to do extra short courses in order to compliment his degree and skills. This proved to do the trick as he is now happily employed at a transport firm.</p>
<p>For the last two decades, the UK has been a place of milk and honey for foreigners to work at.</p>
<p>South Africans specifically have come and gone during these years but some even stayed on and managed to get citizenship through the companies that employed them.</p>
<p>Like Melanie (32) from Cheshire in Scotland who until recently worked at a Bank who suffered a closure.</p>
<p>?I don?t think it has sunk in yet. I am about to embark on a trip to Turkey which I?ve booked and paid for last year when I thought my job was safe,? she says with a confused tone in her voice.</p>
<p>Despite the confusion about her future, Melanie is confident that this could turn out positively in the end.</p>
<p>?I know of a couple of friends who this has happened to and if this means I have to move back home for the time being, I?ll do it,? she adds.<br />
The stress is instantly multiplied when it is not only your own future that has an abrupt reality check but also that of your entire family.<br />
Daniel (39) from Reading, the father of three-year-old daughter Danielle and two-month-old, Amy is still coping with joblessness.</p>
<p>He chose to leave his company after the recruitment firm he worked for replaced monthly salaries with commission based payment.</p>
<p>?I don?t feel like a father or a husband at the moment because I can?t provide for my family. But I know it doesn?t help to be negative about it. I am constantly applying for jobs because I know the right job won?t come looking for me,? he says.</p>
<p>Daniel has always been good with his hands and in between submitting his CV for possible jobs he is also improving his carpentry skills to keep all his options open.</p>
<p>The effects of unemployment and the recession stretches far wider than the obvious financial difficulties it creates for those affected by it.<br />
The stories of those who are coping or recently dealt with being without a job all carry a similar theme of emotional uneasiness.</p>
<p>For some the burden becomes too heavy emotionally and across the world suicides and crime has increased substantially.</p>
<p>Bloomberg reports that lead researcher of Oxford University, David Stuckler, said that their research had shown that suicides rose with 4.5pc when unemployment rose with 3pc.</p>
<p>?Financial crises cause significant hardships for many people, but they don?t have to cost them their lives,? Stuckler said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Redundancy can have a particular impact on men, who are thought to be more vulnerable to falls in status than women &#8211; as many as 1 in 7 men develop depression within six months of losing their jobs,&#8221; said Paul Farmer, chief executive of the mental health charity Mind, a BBC article reports.</p>
<p>It is therefore more important than ever that the Government invest time, money and effort into combating or at least assisting unemployment.<br />
If you find yourself unemployed at the moment, the first thing to remember is to keep busy with tasks and efforts that will improve your skills or sense of being instead of demolishing it.</p>
<p>Improve your r?sum?, attend local workshops, work on your current skills or learn new ones.</p>
<p>The UK is soaked with Gillian?s, Steward?s, Melanie?s and Daniel?s but the significance of these stories is that none of them gave up hope or plan to give up anytime soon.</p>
<p>There is good news out there but the sooner you realise that you do not need the news or the economy to create your good fortune, the better.<br />
<hr size="1"/>Chantel is a regular contributor of career advice and <a rel="nofollow" rel="met friend bookmark" target="_blank" href="http://careers-jobs.eu/">jobs</a> news for leading UK Job Board http://careersandjobsuk.com</p>
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		<title>When You Lose Your Job&#8211; How to Be Successful at Unemployment!</title>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 31 May 2009 15:59:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rik Isensee</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Losing your job is one of the most stressful events that can happen in your lifetime. It can wreak havoc with your finances, your relationships, and your self-esteem. With little control over much of the situation, it?s easy to feel helpless and hopeless, but in reality your perception of your circumstances can make a huge [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Losing your job is one of the most stressful events that can happen in your lifetime. It can wreak havoc with your finances, your relationships, and your self-esteem. With little control over much of the situation, it?s easy to feel helpless and hopeless, but in reality your perception of your circumstances can make a huge difference.</p>
<p>Losing a job may change many aspects of your life, but it can also be an opportunity for growth. Like most life challenges, how you react to this situation will determine whether you ultimately wind up better or worse for the experience.</p>
<p>Grief</p>
<p>Dealing with job loss is similar to dealing with the death of a loved one. It?s natural to have feelings of shock, sadness and mourning. Some people think they should keep a stiff upper lip, but suppressing emotions can lead to depression. It?s important to allow your feelings to flow and not try to stop them.</p>
<p>Feel whatever you feel, but don?t jump to negative conclusions about what losing your job means. Take each day as it comes, feel into the nature of the changes you?re facing and be willing to discover the next step that makes sense to you, rather than jumping to the conclusion that all is lost. It?s also helpful to reach out for support from others.</p>
<p>Regret</p>
<p>Is it your fault you lost your job? Was there something you could have done to prevent it? It?s natural to ask these questions but you can?t turn back the clock.</p>
<p>Instead of banging yourself over the head with recrimination, forgive yourself and focus on what?s possible rather than dwelling on the past.</p>
<p>It?s also helpful in tough economic times to realize many jobs are lost to downsizing, so don?t blame yourself for external circumstances you can?t control.</p>
<p>You will work again; so in the meantime, think about where you?d like to go and what you?d like to do. Considering future possibilities can help you decide not only what you want to accomplish, but how you?d like to be in the world.</p>
<p>You Are Not Your Job</p>
<p>If you define yourself solely in terms of your outward accomplishments, you can become very disoriented when you lose your job. Some people jump to negative conclusions: I?m not a good breadwinner or parent; so there?s no use for me anymore.</p>
<p>Losing your job is just that: losing your job. But you?re much more than your job. As important as it might have been to you, your job was not the sum total of who you are.</p>
<p>You have many other qualities and skills in your life besides the work you do. Now is the perfect time to take a look at areas of your life you may have neglected: relationships, community involvement, creative expression, even something as simple as cooking or gardening. By engaging in other interests, you may find comfort and a sense of accomplishment that you never expected.</p>
<p>Nothing is Permanent</p>
<p>A healthy way to live ? in good times as well as challenging ones ? is in the moment. Everything is impermanent; nothing remains the same. Although this basic truth can feel somewhat daunting, it can also be very liberating: when you recognize and acknowledge that everything is constantly changing you can stop wishing for what was and pay attention to what is and what could be.</p>
<p>It?s not uncommon for people who have lost a job to later say it opened up other possibilities they might never have explored, otherwise. It woke them up and made them focus on how they really wanted to spend their life.</p>
<p>You Will Be All Right</p>
<p>You?ll have ups and downs throughout your unemployment and at times you may feel like you?re on an emotional roller coaster. You may be in for a rough ride, but with the right attitude, you will get through the experience and arrive in a better place. You may look back on this time as a road you needed to travel to get where you needed to go.</p>
<p>It?s not only how we deal with external circumstances that enhances our well-being in the world, but the realization that no matter what happens to us, we are fundamentally all right. And we can trust in our own responsiveness to deal effectively with whatever challenges life brings our way.<br />
<hr size="1"/>For some documented keys to a happier life go to <a rel="nofollow" rel="met friend bookmark" target="_blank" href="http://your-pathway-to-happiness.com" title="http://your-pathway-to-happiness.com">http://your-pathway-to-happiness.com</a> and get your free report ?14 Proven Ways to Raise Your Set-Point of Happiness.? Rik Isensee, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist, coach and author of Shift Your Mood: Unleash Your Life! Your Pathway to Inner Happiness</p>
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